ByeMovie

Nedry: “Spare no expense? Please. My eBay side hustle just paid for a new Jeep.” In the movie, Dennis shuts down Jurassic Park’s security system to smuggle dino DNA for cash. That one move lets the T-Rex out, the raptors roam free, and chaos begins. But what if he didn’t need the money? What if Nedry was already making bank online? He’s flipping Beanie Babies on eBay. Running a “Work From Home” Geocities site. Day-trading AOL stock like a king. The fences? Stay on. The T-Rex? Still behind 10,000 volts. The lawyer? Safe on his toilet. The tour goes smoothly. Dinosaurs look bored. Jeff Goldblum yawns. The climax isn’t a fight for survival. It’s Nedry refreshing his PayPal account. The dinosaurs? Trapped. The humans? Fine. The movie? A zoo documentary. Sometimes the deadliest predator isn’t greed… It’s dot-com success.

Morpheus: “You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland. You take the blue pill, the story ends.” But what if Neo grabs the third pill - the one Morpheus wasn’t planning to mention? Turns out… it’s ecstasy. Suddenly, Neo isn’t worried about the machines, Agent Smith, or the meaning of reality. He’s too busy hugging everyone in the Nebuchadnezzar, dancing to rave music, and telling Trinity how much he really loves her. The rebellion? Paused. The Matrix? Still running. Humanity’s savior? Out on the dance floor with glow sticks. One rave pill. Movie over.